No Handbook for This: A Mom’s Heart in the High School Years

In the midst of the excitement, to a new mom- it’s unknown (or at least for me it was) The idea that this little being growing inside of you will one day walk the earth—sometimes without you anywhere near—doesn’t even cross your mind. 

And maybe that’s for the best. If I had really thought about it, I might have reconsidered motherhood altogether (which, funny enough, was the original plan).

But here I am now. Sitting in my dinning room, whispering a little prayer when I hear, “I’m good, just tired,” or “The day was fine, nothing happened.” Words that should comfort me, yet my gut tells me otherwise. That mother’s intuition—the one we’re told to trust—tugs at me, whispering that something is being left unsaid.

So I second-guess myself. Is this normal? Is it expected?

Is it even possible to create a home where they tell me everything? And if they did—would I really want to know it all?

There’s no handbook for this. No guide that tells us how much to hold on and when to let go. I know they need to fight their own battles, to stumble and struggle so they can build the strength, the grit, the “street cred” we say they need, that life requires.

Still, the questions linger in my heart:
Am I protecting them enough?
Am I giving them enough room to grow?
And most of all—am I doing this right?

The truth is, none of us really know. We just keep showing up, praying a little harder, and trusting that love will carry them where our arms no longer can.