From the start, my husband and I agreed on what values we wanted to keep — and what patterns we wanted to break (no shade to our parents). Communication became the foundation. We wanted our kids to feel safe enough to express themselves, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation might be. But we quickly learned you can’t just flip a switch one day and expect open communication; you have to start young. That meant explaining and asking instead of simply telling them what to do.
I’ll be honest — this tested my patience, especially with my son, who is naturally inquisitive. He has a question (or ten) for everything. Our daughter, who’s just over two years older, didn’t experience the same approach. As strange as it sounds, it wasn’t until our son was born that it truly hit me: We’re the parents. We’re the ones teaching them everything. I’ll never forget the moment it dawned on me that it was our job to show them how to brush their teeth. For some reason, I thought kids just knew how to do that (SMH).
Looking back, those early days with my daughter were shaped more by instinct than intention. I was “mommy’ing” without much thought of the long-term impact. Yet even that short time made a difference. To this day, my son asks endless questions that make my daughter roll her eyes in disbelief. She’ll look at him like, “I can’t believe you just asked that.” And sometimes, I wonder — is that the difference in our parenting? Or simply their personalities?
What I do know is this: parenting is less about having all the answers and more about being willing to grow and adapt right alongside our kids especially during this transitional period in their lives.
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